I have known I was smart for most of my life. I was bored in school because of how smart I was. I was seldom challenged by the material that was presented. I cheated on tests because I couldn't be bothered to 'win' the way the game was set up.
That slowly spread out into the rest of my life. How can I lie, cheat and steal and get what I want and need? How can I control the outcome?
Deserving it never entered my mind. If you were too stupid to stop me from getting what I wanted, well that was on you. My childhood was chaotic, so I learned to control parts of my life and then create my own chaos to deal with in the rest. I had no idea how much energy, intellect and time I was spending from living life this way. Like the tide, it just creeped in over the years. I was up to my nose and it simply seemed normal. Some good days, some bad days and lots of excitement/fear.
But not much proactive planning and progress was happening. The results I was getting didn’t bring me pride or satisfaction. I was far more reactive and on my heels each day. I was distracted and trying all over the place. And when I was not doing that, I was numbing out, acting out and seeking pleasure to interrupt the exhaustion and boredom. Whew!
Was faith and grace something I could count on for real results?
Fast forward 45 years and a friend suggested a book called 'The Surrender Experiment' by Michael Singer. One day I sat on my porch in a comfortable chair and started reading. I was fascinated by his tale of success and connection. After three hours I took a nap, then came right back. It was a page turner. How did he go from idea to success so effortlessly? I won't spoil the ending, but I finished it and put the book down at the end of the day with a simple realization. I could stand up with some new ideas and insights, or I could let the book transform me and how I viewed life in a fundamental way. I had been 'trying/pushing/making/hoping' for 55 years. What if I simply let go? What if I transformed my view of life and my place in it and surrendered to what wanted to happen through me? Could it really be that easy? Was faith and grace something I could count on for real results?
I took the leap and in the next hours noticed some molecules moving. Life was strangely different. I was relaxed. I was present. Without trying to control it, life continued on. Strange! As the days went by, I kept my intentions and core values, but allowed life and the people and circumstances to inform me. It was natural. It was easy. It was fun! It's been five years now and I have been surrendering my way through life and business. I observe life and interact with it. I don't push or pull. I let things unfold naturally, in their time. It's a little scary at times, but it's also WONDERFUL! I am at ease. I experience grace. I am grateful. I am humble. I am connected.
I ask you to consider this. Read the book? Take on letting go. Give up the idea that you can control this infinite universe.